April poem

June 5, 2009

Kate Bush (not finished by end of April)

i.

You’ve got to wear something. WIT diagram goes ‘patch F’. Padowolski sends you valentine buttress. Hamlet could be described as crack on eggs if we were partial to TAMMETT. Honey needs you to be a horny housewife. You choose and we will give it back to you.

ii.

Come and have a look at my beach house. One day Michael Jackson and Ken Avery did a talk at our school. It was the best day we’d ever had. A milky coffee first thing was the same as cannabis. I could have done the powerpoint better had I been asked. If you mind map love then you get SET, QTH, FLW & QTE.

iii.

Rogelleejo Funk was a bachelor’s with his bag of mystery. By Joseph Beuys of the ‘an’ units. These beavers all died cos of the drain bleach. The Teletubbies were watching James Joyce. Big magic busses drive bumpily. Leanne spread jam out. We clean curtain beautifully but couldn’t get out THIS splodge.

iv.

Was a courtesy card marked ‘Kath’. If you want a Pepsi sit down. This is a secret preposition to a friend is a CEO. I was dared to do it on St. Patrick’s day. And I got my free Li Po ring tone today in a nice cardboard square.

v.

Franz Kline in green. Instamatic. Mike Tyson eating Weetos. Jizz / llath / araf for podgy shoppen powder. Collins Aziz lifting an exciting new venture. Steven Gerrard has admitted he is pleased to have pledged. Maybe I shd wear a cowboy hat. Horny air stewardesses welcome you home. A film about a vicar and a pig. Taxi driver fights with saw. Vicar killed by a man in his church. Did someone round here say fud? Did Johnny Depp own a mug?

vi.

Bernice has revealed how Terry sent her saucy emails. I lubed him up then he lubed me up. More pussy than a toilet seat says Penelope Cruz. More detritus than living outside the MINIMART complains Linny Helson; like the way a Twirl was when I gobbed on it; like when Harrison Ford was kicked by a horse.

vii

Plays rock guitar at the bowls club. Offers liberalism in conservatisism. Clarity; must be claritus. She says  “it must be people over absolute elsewhere”. The collage in the flange. My legs were in the stars and my tongue in his ear. It felt right. It was too long. She bakes cakes for the school fete.

viii

Gini ull spead muck all o’er the heap; like Coleridge out of his suit. She organised the Easter duck race and sent the money to a good place. She loved Franse and modelled the farmer in Pickajòut on SL. Someone’s wife wants to meet you and date you over an Abbot ale. Farmgirl wants to swing her dress around your barn and then eat quiche.

ix

Three litre mercedes benz, wooden look finish dashboard with free Chris de Burgh MP3. I bought milk from the store. Judy Mistro said stop pissing me off.

x

I went into the woods with her. Was culpable to the King’s Arms. I was filming Caroline – you can hear me munching a sandwich in the background. I hoped to walk a dog with her; watch sexually married ladies play scrabble in the Cotswolds.

xi

Young woody shaft up to web design at great prices; played softball in my victory briefs. Did you make the right move today? Do you like reading poetry? Yes but I don’t read a lot. The last thing I read was in 2019 by Berylyn Van Daffy, The Day Lady Died; bout some queeny or some shit.

xii

Read this if you’re fat. Jumping seamlessly from academic papers to the offensive or the trivial. Begins with a concept or idea. Has a strange effect . Once you start to hypertext you can gain a momentum. And this is checked against reality and adjusted step by step. Which seems unstoppable and unchallengeable (confuses maypole, bloomers and barbecued grouse with the carnivalesque); until a satisfactory match is found. Leading you on a journey into the unknown; without pattern. Perhaps you could be my new best friend. How could anyone be so cruel as to be sick on a cat!

xiii

Bloxx to glocalisation is done through birdwatching. Their main memory is of the four awarding bodies. A compilation to stand in the sun. I have managed to use an oxymoron. Did Steve Archibald play for Dunfermline?

xiv

An ongoing firewall dispute in the middle of the cottage. This Thursday Scottish Andy plays Herbie Hancock whilst you look at Paul Klee’s Two Jugs. Everything’s an opportunity. There were restrictions. TL. A selection of hot and cold snacks. I told my mum he was well hung. Bumping into Andie MacDowell in Boots. Tim Atkins getting cashback. Hilary Clinton taking a bath.

xv

A dark haired woman draws me aside: were you I stare blankly. I pause for a moment: where’s my stuff? Where’s the letters and the photos? Where’s all my studded belts, my Thomas Felhmann CD? I clear my throat: Do you think this will do? It won’t do by itself.

xvi

I’ve met this man. Dieter his name was. He was into this stuff. He had emotional honesty; knew the inner workings. But how come now I’ve got this adultery whip? Do I whip him or does he whip me? How do you give the woman you love one of your  mediocre oil paintings? Should iImake a fudge cake? Should I sew his name into his shorts? Should I do a ouija board or on chairs?

xvii

There’s something mystical about mountains unlike hot buns. Soya with three bean pasta; I got it from the web. I’m obsessed and can’t control it. What the hell does battered flank of donutman mean? The computer will create tweening. It was faulty. It was from weightraise: you can pave my terrace.

xviii

With sections and everything. Did you look at my desk. Something called Unito Acc. Wow. You brought…dogs! Rubbing her cheek against his face. Being surrounded by strangers at your own party. All I said on the phone was I felt a bit weird. If the sofa is worth ten grand then the cushion must be worth a thousand quid on its own. Mum produces dog biscuits from her cardigan. VESCO gets you 3 for 2 on ketamine. Mum’s twisting her beads on DR1. I had the same lipsalve. I take the DVD and STARE at it. I like to get told off at work once in a while. It doesn’t happen anymore. Says it should do in the brand leaflet: WELLNESS FLAKES.

xix

Vija Clemins to fix. Caroline Bergvall working at McTucky’s. I can’t get any closer to what I mean than by doing it like a giant Yorkshire pudding filled with lamb chunks (like dog chunks). I taught the children to dance in the garden; the lawn was covered in rose blossom. It’s about what you’ve produced and how you perform. Three joined panels. Putting your ass in a canoe is a very pleasant, soothing end of the day. I can never get to the end of this, visually. A man was refused treatment to a dental hospital. An intervention on 16 tin panels.

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